The articles in this section often reference how you interview for "grit" and how to hire people who can learn from failure. but this fascinating article takes it back a step.
How do you build grit in children?
"The most valuable thing that parents can do to help their children develop character—may be to do nothing. To back off a bit. To let our children face some adversity on their own, to fall down and not be helped back up."
"What matters most in a child's development ... is not how much information we can stuff into her brain in the first few years of life. What matters, instead, is whether we are able to help her develop a very different set of qualities, a list that includes persistence, self-control, curiosity, conscientiousness, grit and self-confidence. Economists refer to these as noncognitive skills, psychologists call them personality traits, and the rest of us often think of them as character"
This is one of the life lessons I look to teach the girls on my HS basketball team. Grit is a great word that describes the ability to get knocked off the horse and get right back in the saddle. It's the ability to deal with adversity, disappointment, setbacks, and all the other traits the author mentions. Years from now my girls will never remember the actual experience of playing basketball = what they will remember is how much this HS sport - their coach - and their teammates taught them about how to deal with all the things life keeps throwing at you and testing your grit.
Barry
Via
Bob Corlett
Jennifer makes a great point in her blog post about people being "special cases". I have a different phrase for this syndrome. I call it:
Excuses and Explanations
The vast majority of individuals, whether they are 13 or 55, make excuses, absolve themselves of blame, point the finger at others, try to play the victim, and just refuse to step up and give it their best.
I'm sure there are many psychological reasons for this dysfunctional behavior. On my high school basketball team, I teach my girls there is no excuses and explanations. You either did it or you didn't do it. Period. Don't blame your teammates, the bounce of the ball, the other team, the refs, or your parents - just give it your very best effort. If you fall short, you fall short - but at least you tried and gave it everything you could.
I also teach my high school players another trait, which is to NEVER say "I can't do that". Another Coach Barryism is telling the girls - you have no idea what your truly capable of achieving. Stop putting limits on yourself with negative thoughts. Try it. If you fail, keep working at it and improve every day until you master it.
Why do the vast majority (80 percent or more) want to make excuses and explanations before they even try? I can understand being discouraged, humilated, or frustrated by difficult tasks and work - but to give up before trying - that's just unacceptable.
Barry Deutsch
Master Coach for Hiring, Job Search, and Social Networking
If you liked this post, visit Barry Deutsch's Web Portal to discover the wide range of topics through his publishing empire of blogs and curated content on subjects including hiring and retaining top talent, sales through social media, and motivation-character-values.
http://www.barrydeutsch.net