Jennifer makes a great point in her blog post about people being "special cases". I have a different phrase for this syndrome. I call it:

Excuses and Explanations

The vast majority of individuals, whether they are 13 or 55, make excuses, absolve themselves of blame, point the finger at others, try to play the victim, and just refuse to step up and give it their best.

I'm sure there are many psychological reasons for this dysfunctional behavior. On my high school basketball team, I teach my girls there is no excuses and explanations. You either did it or you didn't do it. Period. Don't blame your teammates, the bounce of the ball, the other team, the refs, or your parents - just give it your very best effort. If you fall short, you fall short - but at least you tried and gave it everything you could.

I also teach my high school players another trait, which is to NEVER say "I can't do that". Another Coach Barryism is telling the girls - you have no idea what your truly capable of achieving. Stop putting limits on yourself with negative thoughts. Try it. If you fail, keep working at it and improve every day until you master it.

Why do the vast majority (80 percent or more) want to make excuses and explanations before they even try? I can understand being discouraged, humilated, or frustrated by difficult tasks and work - but to give up before trying - that's just unacceptable.

Barry Deutsch

Master Coach for Hiring, Job Search, and Social Networking

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Good article on integrity in coaching. Even the best coaches have frustrating days with their teams. The coach is an authority figure trusted with the care of your children to help them grow and develop as mature individuals - whether that be on the court or in the classroom.

I might be a little high strung, but not close to the demeaning nature of the way most coaches lead their teams.

I've had moments where I wanted to walk over to the other bench and slap the other coach for his/her language and abusive behavior.

Barry Deutsch

Here's the comments I posted to this introspective article on Inc. Magazine's Website:

Angela calls it grit - I call it mental toughness. In addition to my executive search business, an active publishing platform, and a CEO forum speaking schedule that keeps me quite busy, I've found the time for the past decade to coach high school girls basketball.

A lot of my fundamental understanding of personal success and high performing teams comes from observing high school basketball players in this microcosm that is predictive of future success.

One of the greatest traits I've noticed in a decade of coaching basketball and in interviews with over 100,000 candidates - that separates high performers vs. lackluster performers is mental toughness - grit, effort, initiative, willing to do more than you're asked, getting back up on the horse when you're knocked off your saddle, perseverance - there's a high correlation between many of these success factors. The best - whether they are 13 year old girls entering high school basketball OR they are 55 year old senior executives - exhibit these traits on a consistent basis.

Once we acknowledge the importance of these traits to success, it begins to change our perspective on how we hire, what we measure in people, and as managers, executive, and coaches - how we help guide our teams to success.